Friday, September 7, 2012

Why I fight the War on Women: Its the ABUSE Stupid!

As most of you know, I'm a child abuse investigator by profession.  I love my job. I'm also pretty fucking good it, or so I've been told.  This post isn't specifically about child abuse, but it is about a facet of my job that is important to protecting children

The facet to which I am referring is protecting women from abuse.  I've been been vocal, and profane in my defense of women and their rights.  Exhibits AB, and C.

Domestic abuse occurs in many forms.  It can be physical, sexual, or psychological.  Recently a friend of mine from the great coffee klatsch that is twitter, Jessica AKA @Vdaze wrote and talked about her abuse by a man on the internet.  He was insidious and he played it like a pro.

Men who abuse women are amazingly similar to child sexual predators. I am NOT conflating child sexual predators with the abusers of women, I'm just saying their methods are similar.  The way abusers wend their way into peoples lives is fascinating. They're charming. They seem friendly. They build seemingly strong bonds.

When the trust has been gained, they pounce.  Abusers of women scream at them, hit them, blame them.  Turn every argument around so that the woman feels like it's her fault.  Fortunately for my friend Jessica, she was not physically abused.  Had she let the relationship progress, there's no telling what may have happened.

When I was young in this job, I used to blame the women victims abuse almost as much as I blamed the abusers.  I didn't get that there is a cycle of abuse, and women often can't shake it.

Where am I going with all this?  I'm trying to make the point that the War on Women isn't just being run by the GOP.  Women all over this country are belittled, beaten down and just plain beaten on a daily basis.  The person who treated Jessica so horribly, is a progressive liberal.

Until we treat women with the respect and dignity that they deserve, we will never be a "great" nation. Until we put our collective foot down about misogyny, verbal abuse and domestic abuse of women, we cannot call ourselves a "great" nation.  Until we place the needs of women and by extension children above our own selfish pursuits, we cannot call ourselves a "great" nation.

One final thought, I know that there are occasions in which women are abusive aggressors.  The number is so small statistically, it barely merits notice.

We have a long way to go. Let's start by treating our ladyfolk with some respect.  I'm a progressive, I believe women are every bit as capable as and equal to men.  Also as I pointed out earlier on the twitter. Strong women are sexy as hell.


  1. It does not matter one bit the politics of the man who abuses women as you have said. Abuse in any form is NEVER ok or excusable and as progressives who profess to support women's rights we sure as hell had better be strong in making it stop.

  2. Abuse...the gift that keeps on giving. As long as women are abused and their children grow up witnessing that pattern of abuse, it becomes the norm. Appreciate your efforts as an investigator. It must be very frustrating that there is no magic, societal answer.